Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Jack Layton And The Purple Coalition: His Mouth Says No No No, His Tie Says Yes Yes Yes

Look at his body language; he looks sad, pensive, as though he has lost or discarded something that was once precious to him, but which now seems a pointless indulgence.

More importantly, look at his neck ware, the most expressive item of clothing on any politician and the one he is most likely to use to send coded signals to The Faithful.

Note the diagonal stripes--they're purple, what you got by mixing NDP orange with Tory blue. These are the colours of the Purple Coalition--the undemocratic NDP/CPoC Alliance that I wrote about yesterday.

Note the black stripes underneath. These represent the death of the young idealist Jack Layton used to be.

And the Message?

Fuck this principled Socialist BULLSHIT! Jack needs an office with a window. Jack is tired of hearing toilets flush next door when's he on the phone schmoozing with Castro. Jack has been squatting in this little crap-hole town nearly 10 years and he's fed up of being last in line to shake the Pope's hand when The Pope comes to town, tired of hearing "Whose the weird little guy with the gay mustache?" because The Pope thinks a union-based pol won't understand Latin. He's tired of the press laughing at him behind his back, and that Green Party chick eyeing his official third party leader stuff and looking so damned impressed. Little does she know!! The games unit is from 20 years ago and all it plays is pac-man! The TV hasn't work in forever; Jack had his staff tape that picture of Obama over the screen! That's why his lips never move! No! No! Jack deserves better. Jack deserves perqs! And Jack is going to get perqs if he has to dance with the Devil himself!

Seriously, forget stories like this. The man is ready to deal. I know neckties.

4 comments:

Gene Rayburn said...

Jack Layton with an office like the Michael Scott Paper company. Too funny

Scanner said...

how sad - BCL you as a colour specialist are fail. Blue and orange gives a shitty brown (if you're talking dye)

Gene Rayburn said...

Scanner noes Englis weel

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