Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Advice To Andrew Coyne: Sack Steyn, Bring Wells Home

Congratulations to Andrew Coyne for abandoning his position at the Natty Post for the job of National Editor, Maclean’s magazine. You're getting out just in time, Andrew. I hear that, with Conrad bound for the Pokey, the Post is due to go tits up any day now.

Hopefully, you will bring a bit of moderation to Old Mac. Under Whyte's regime it has gone entirely downhill, especially after they hired that freak Mark Steyn. You know how I knew that Conrad Black was fated to have prison sex in the showers with a big black inmate named Leroy? Steyn kept declaring him innocent!

And here's the deal: fire Steyn, give me an email address, and I will send you my portfolio. Find out what they were paying him for his bullshit, and I will do roughly the same thing for $100 per column less. Old Mac will be able to reclaim the political center, and I will write at least one column about boobies per month, which should help keep a healthy portion of Steyn's original readers.

Also, if you need someone to talk in front of cameras, I can do that. Since I'm a homegrown Canadian and a child of the public health system, and he an Englishman, I imagine my teeth are in far better shape. I can also fake an accent, if you think that would sound more authoritative: "Oi Govna!"

Something like that, right?

I'll need a suit though. I expect Macleans to pick up the tab on that.

As my second bit of advice, order Paul Wells back to Canada. He is wasted over there in France because, frankly, who cares about the French? His columns have suffered horribly, and his recent blog posts have been all but unreadable:

Day 1: Ate snails.

Day 2: Ate more snails.

Day 3: Saw a guy masturbating on the Paris underground. He seemed entirely without shame.

Day 4: Ate more snails...someone kill me now.

So get our boy Wells back, and send Mr. Steyn packing. Okay?

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is every Libblog as juvenile and petty as this one? It's tough to look for insightful commentary and intelligent analysis when it's so filled with name-calling and blind hatred. So much for Liberals being tolerant, reasoned, and mature.

Lord Kitchener's Own said...

Of course, the problem with your suggestions is that Andrew was named national editor, not editor-in-chief.

If he wants to do any of the things you suggest, he's going to have to run them by his boss: Maclean's publisher and editor-in-chief Kenneth Whyte. If you think the magazine has gone downhill under Whyte's regime you should keep in mind that this is still Whyte's regime.

Good hire by Whyte though!

rjjago.wordpress.com said...

"I'm a homegrown Canadian and a child of the public health system, and he an Englishman, I imagine my teeth are in far better shape."

For the record Steyn was born in Canada and you are an ignorant bigot.

bigcitylib said...

Andrew can always make a few suggestions.

Ti-Guy said...

Is every Libblog as juvenile and petty as this one? It's tough to look for insightful commentary and intelligent analysis when it's so filled with name-calling and blind hatred. So much for Liberals being tolerant, reasoned, and mature

Lighten up, you humourless bitch.

For the record Steyn was born in Canada and you are an ignorant bigot.

I can't think of anyone less Canadian than the cretinous ponce, Mark Steyn.

As I've said, I'll start buying MacLean's when they dump that bastard.

Oldschool said...

Coyne has a big job to fix that rag . . . . Steyn is a bright guy . . . ever read any of his stuff???
Take a trip to Europe, see first hand what he is talking about . . . today, as we celebrate haloween . . . there are no-go zones in many Euro cities . . . Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, a number of German cities, even Copenhagen . . . wonder why that is . . . wonder why the riots, in several Euro cities, of a couple of weeks back were not on the CBC or written about in the MSM???

Ti-Guy said...

Steyn is a bright guy . . . ever read any of his stuff???

By the time I'd actually heard of Mark Steyn (sometime around 2002, I believe), the media was chock-a-block with dissections of his irrational rants, such as this one:

In his latest all-thumbs fingerpainting of the Decline of the West, Steyn scrambles a grandma suicide bomber, the presiding bishop of the Episocopal Church, Condoleeza Rice, and the overrunneth cups of Scarlett Johansson into a free-floating indictment of Womankind for being (in order of appearance) fervent-delusional, cluelessly naive, vaguely empathetic, and promiscuously ditzy, the various aspects of female dottiness somehow responsible for the Muslim population bomb that threatens civilization's existence. Where the grandma raised a mighty brood before she blew herself up, Western women are futzing and fucking around, refusing to reproduce at a rate that will give Muslims a run for their money. It irks Steyn that a healthy young bunny such as Johannson isn't popping out babies like Pillsbury muffins, but instead is practicing safe sex with a extraordinarily high level of caution, getting herself HIV-tested twice a year. Steyn harrumphs, like some 87 year old columnist from the London Spectator dribbling sherry down his vest:

Much more entertaining than reading whatever Steyn has managed to queef out. Also, contrary to the myth, Steyn is humourless.

Take a trip to Europe, see first hand what he is talking about

It's you who need to leave Delisle, Noschool.

JFMcNULTY` said...

Your opinions are so ill-informed as to raise the possibility of them being satire. Steyn is brilliant -- the best columnist writing in what is left of the Western world -- and your comments are not quite meaningful enough even to be scraped off his shoe. It is fine to ignore reality, although reality will not forever ignore you. Sooner or later, reality must be faced. Unfortunately, we are going through a period in which it is fashionable to avoid reality. My advice to you is to visit Europe (while it is still there). Steyn is being proved right in his comments by the reality of creeping Sharia in our own society. We like to act as though it does not matter, and all we have to do is mollify Muslims, like any other interest group. Have you read "The Looming Tower"? Have you read Stayn's "America Along"? Have you real Raymond Ibrahim's "The Al Queda Raader"? Do you known of the doctrine of loyalty and enmity in Islam? Can you explain these facts away? Steyn does not, and he even finds humor in them.

Ti-Guy said...

Oh, please, you hysterical bigot. No one who has any sense at all takes Steyn (note spelling) seriously.

Steyn does not, and he even finds humor in them.

No he doesn't. He's an idiot, like I told you.

JFMcNULTY` said...

You are uneducable on this issue. Steyn is better as a columnist than Maureen Dowd, who sees stuck on "smark" in everything she writes.

Ti-Guy said...

Actually, Dowd is pretty awful...I'd say on par with Steyn...only Dowd is pretty, whereas Steyn looks a troll and probably smells bad (...those green teeth..*ick*).

You are uneducable on this issue.

Ah...there's that wingnut wisdom. You didn't try to educate me...you just made a bunch of assertions without substantiation, which is really stupid.

Anonymous said...

"Coyne has a big job to fix that rag . . . . Steyn is a bright guy . . . ever read any of his stuff???
Take a trip to Europe, see first hand what he is talking about . . . today, as we celebrate haloween . . . there are no-go zones in many Euro cities . . . Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, a number of German cities, even Copenhagen . . . wonder why that is . . . wonder why the riots, in several Euro cities, of a couple of weeks back were not on the CBC or written about in the MSM???"

Because the MSM is controlled by people like BCL and BI-Guy and don't want people to know about the consequences of idiotic liberal immigration policies?

Ti-Guy said...

Because the MSM is controlled by people like BCL and BI-Guy and don't want people to know about the consequences of idiotic liberal immigration policies?

Are you one of KKKate's white supremacist buddies?

...you guys are the run. We're having ourselves a veritable wingnut rodeo. Yee-haw!

jay said...

Heavy traffic for the small town blog.
Tiguy is your sock puppet isn't he?

Anonymous said...

I see that your sign is Leo. Do you really believe in astrology?

Raging Ranter said...

BCL, while I would miss Steyn's wit, if you promise, and I mean promise to write about boobies once a month, I guess I could live with it. (I'm a MacLeans subscriber.) As for Paul Wells, you're absolutely correct. What a complete waste of one of Canada's best political writers to be covering.....France.

AnonPostie said...

Don't know what or how you've heard about the NP going "tits up", but that's a very misinformed (and probably shrouded in bias) fact.

Ad rev's and circ is increasing. Budget is in the black for the first time ever. For the record, the NP is doing fine.

Anonymous said...

Jeez, Bozo ... if you want Steyn's job, you'd probably need to learn how to read, write, develop an intellect and cultivate a sense of humor.

That's setting the bar a little high for a bile-filled mollusc like yourself, isn't it?

Ti-Guy said...

I see the neo-nazis have converged. BCL must have been mentionned at Stormfront.

bigcitylib said...

Actually, ti-guy, Steyn himself linked here.

Ti-Guy said...

Figures. There's no bad publicity in Steyn's world.

...the whore.

Anonymous said...

Sedum here.

Bending the topic, is Steyn's name pronounced "stain" (what he is) or "stein"-empty vessel (what he is).

Ti-Guy said...

Much to my chagrin, I believe it's pronounced like Stein.

Although, it's refreshing to realise that, in Canada anyway, his name is so seldom heard that one is unsure.

Anonymous said...

"I'm a homegrown Canadian and a child of the public health system, and he an Englishman, I imagine my teeth are in far better shape."

Probably because dental care is private in Canada and public in the UK.

Anonymous said...

M.J. Murphy will take overlooked, ignored, and suppressed facts and form them into coherent, logical, reasonable, and accurate statements, which conclude in a sobering world view, (which is what Mark Steyn does), for $100 less than Mark Steyn?

Bwah ha ha! LOL!

Blogging is on your own nickel, M.J. It is easy to take pot shots at the experts, like Mark Steyn, but go establish yourself through nearly 20 years of journalism, and maybe someday you will earn $100 less than Mark Steyn, but from what I read on this blog site, you won't be able to analyze, deduce, nor present anything near to the quality of Mark Steyn. Steyn is one of a kind, in a class by himself.

Quit kidding yourself, and don't quit your day job, M.J.

Ti-Guy said...

nor present anything near to the quality of Mark Steyn. Steyn is one of a kind, in a class by himself.

I can't believe how many wingnuts just love fellating Mark Steyn.

C'mon guys...it's obscene.

Steyn is about the worst journalist in the world and the documented criticism of his lousy work is everywhere for all to see.

He needs to go back to reviewing musicals.

Anonymous said...

actually, the NHS just got rid of public provided dental care. too bad, if anyone needs free dental, its these limey tossers.

great post bcl, steyn is soo retarded. thankfully only canadian wingnuts really know who he is.

canuckistanian