Congratulations to Andrew Coyne for abandoning his position at the Natty Post for the job of National Editor, Maclean’s magazine. You're getting out just in time, Andrew. I hear that, with Conrad bound for the Pokey, the Post is due to go tits up any day now.
Hopefully, you will bring a bit of moderation to Old Mac. Under Whyte's regime it has gone entirely downhill, especially after they hired that freak Mark Steyn. You know how I knew that Conrad Black was fated to have prison sex in the showers with a big black inmate named Leroy? Steyn kept declaring him innocent!
And here's the deal: fire Steyn, give me an email address, and I will send you my portfolio. Find out what they were paying him for his bullshit, and I will do roughly the same thing for $100 per column less. Old Mac will be able to reclaim the political center, and I will write at least one column about boobies per month, which should help keep a healthy portion of Steyn's original readers.
Also, if you need someone to talk in front of cameras, I can do that. Since I'm a homegrown Canadian and a child of the public health system, and he an Englishman, I imagine my teeth are in far better shape. I can also fake an accent, if you think that would sound more authoritative: "Oi Govna!"
Something like that, right?
I'll need a suit though. I expect Macleans to pick up the tab on that.
As my second bit of advice, order Paul Wells back to Canada. He is wasted over there in France because, frankly, who cares about the French? His columns have suffered horribly, and his recent blog posts have been all but unreadable:
Day 1: Ate snails.
Day 2: Ate more snails.
Day 3: Saw a guy masturbating on the Paris underground. He seemed entirely without shame.
Day 4: Ate more snails...someone kill me now.
So get our boy Wells back, and send Mr. Steyn packing. Okay?